I would like to go on record here and declare that this is the year that I get leaner and more flexible because I know those two things are coming. The more I practice yoga, the more I am able to stretch farther and deeper. The easier it becomes to attain certain poses that I couldn’t have managed six months ago. I know that Pilates will help with the lengthening and leaning part of that as well because everyone I know that practices Pilates has pretty major physiques to show for it. Could I be that one exception that still has an inner tube belly (you know where the belly fat spills over into the back) that practices on a regular basis? Yes, anything is possible, but if I had that kind of attitude then I wouldn’t even bother trying.
Over our new year festivities, we had my mother-in-law and brother-in-law in town for a few days. It was a lot of fun especially for my kids. I have learned a few things from the past and recently about them and my relationship with food. My brother-in-law likes to bring pies from Michigan and doughnuts from Kentucky when he visits. He is no longer living in Michigan and I don’t really have an issue having just one small sliver of pie and being done with it or avoiding it altogether. Now, doughnuts on the other hand. Any one that has been reading my posts long enough knows that doughnuts are my biggest downfall. They can ruin every bit of effort that I put into my week of planning and working out. With doughnuts, I am never satisfied to eat just one or four and I honestly don’t know why that is. I cannot have them in the house, but here they were, a big box of red velvet and iced round pastries in my kitchen, on my counter. I watched as my family indulged in them and went crazy with oohs and ahhhhs with each bite. My brother-in-law stated that he knew that I was back on track, but that was the end of his statement. I knew that it was just me and my will power and I prayed that I had that as I stood in the kitchen.
I avoided them, but to do so, I had to go to bed early even though I would have rather stayed up with my oldest daughter until midnight, but I knew if I stayed up, I would give in. For three hours over new year’s eve the image of doughnuts in the box would creep into my mind. I almost thought I heard them calling me by name at one point. When I started feeling that kind of delirium kick in over a doughnut, I knew it was time to call it a day.
I have learned that I will have to tell my brother-in-law that bringing doughnuts into my house is like bringing crack to a crack addict and pray that he can understand. I don’t even want my kids eating it to begin with, but if it’s a occassional treat I would be fine with him bringing one for each of the kids and that is it. It did hurt my feelings that my husband, his brother and mother treat me like I’m just on my own. They all have weight issues.
When my mother-in-law is here, she starts with the compliments about how good I look and how well I’m doing keeping the weight off. Usually by the second day she starts telling me how to lose weight or what diets work best and I tell her that WW is my lifestyle and that I will do it for my whole life because I don’t want to be an overweight and unhealthy mom. By that evening, she will usually be annoyed with me and my weight loss declaring that I don’t eat enough or how everything that tastes any good is bad for you. I just bite my tongue. I eat tasty, real food all day, every day, but unless someone wants to hear it then they would rather roll their eyes at you, so I don’t even bother to participate in the conversation.
I have to give major, major kudos to Parker because at one point her uncle claimed in a conversation regarding my husband’s weight and health, how hard it is to lose forty pounds and Parker looked at him and very matter of fact told him, “yeah, but my mom did it”.
We had a big, holiday meal that was mostly prepared by Noel and I knew that morning what and how much of it I was going to eat. I wrote it all out and posted it on my Facebook page. I had what I wanted, I enjoyed what I had.
Just like with parties, dinners, celebrations, gifts where there is food that is hard to resist or that can make me cave, I have to be strong and know what I can and cannot handle. I cannot change people’s actions or how they want me to react to something. I can only do the best that I can.
It’s not easy to lose weight. Well, it isn’t for me. It takes a lot of planning, a lot of dedication, a lot of thought, a lot of time, a lot of motivation, a lot of self talk, a lot of exercise, a lot of avoidance, a lot of learning, a lot of researching and I am committed to all of those things even if some don’t understand or want to participate.
